Technology facilitates the game

 

The player loves the Internet because the type of woman he’s looking for is on the Internet; The lonely woman.  The Internet makes the players job easy he only needs to sit at home and point and click. In the old days he had to go out and find these women, now they’re all listed online with pictures and profiles.  Although there are real people online who are truly looking for someone, the player uses it as a tool. 

 

However, in this new technology driven society people do not socialize the way they use to.  We use voice mail to answer our phones, email to talk to each other and text messaging from our cell phones. We shop online and some of use work from home.  How are you going to meet someone?  Internet social sites provide a service that is needed.  But before you go online you should research the site to find out how they select their members.  Once online you need to be careful not to give out all of your information such as your address and home telephone number.  Meet in public places and drive your own car.  Write down his license plate and email it to a friend always let someone know where you are and whom you are with.  Make sure you let him know you have done this.  This way if he’s planning anything other than dinner he will rethink it. 

 

To avoid the player ask him to meet you at odd times like 6 in the morning.  If he's married he’ll need to explain this to his wife.  Call him at unusual hours like 2 in the morning.  Make dates on holidays if he can’t make it he’s probably married.  Save his old emails so that you can compare them to his newer ones.  When people lie there are usually inconsistencies.  Never give anyone money you meet online.  If they ask for money this is a red flag discontinue talking to him. 

 

Be careful, be careful, be careful.

 

 

 

 

Tags: Internet Online Relationships

THE ONLINE PLAYER

With the advent of the Internet there is an a perfect opportunity for "PLAYERS" the Internet has spawned so much heartbreak over the years I have read and heard so many stories about men and women being played.

With Internet you can be whoever you want to be, and there is no way to check on this person I mean you don't even have to post your own photo, the Internet is a particular playground for married men, who stupidly don't think that it is cheating if they're just talking online...WRONG....

I would WARN against Internet romances as you really have no idea who is sitting in front of the screen at the other end, because men and women weave a tale and before you know it your involved as you start to give more and personal details about your life including sending pictures of where you live etc, this is just ripe for players and stalkers.

Over and over you hear of cases of women having get the police involved because of online relationships, that's not to say that all are not genuine, but a player can carry on several of these relationships at one time.

I know of women who have actually met these men and have found the reality VERY different from the relative safety of your computer, usually the men are nice to start with but then soon the secretive behavior begins to reveal it's self also then come the loans for money etc, also they target single mums, their thinking that there is little they can do about it and they can drop them at anytime without guilt and when they have served their purpose.

So women out there THINK and protect yourself it's better to be lonely than to lose your dignity, money, home, job , friends, there are nice guys out there but you have to look a little harder that's all.

Yasmin

Tags: Internet Online Relationships

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Victims of the game

  

Yes players do often target unattractive women, over weight women and women who display a lack of confidence.   What most people don’t seem to realize is that some of the most beautiful women in the world have been played.  Halle Berry's ex Eric Bennet cheated on her.  He claimed to be a sex addict and for a while she stood by her man. 

 

The thing is, player’s take advantage of women, unattractive, over weight or drop dead gorgeous.  Attractive women are sometimes abused more. There are a lot of beautiful single mothers out there, who thought that he loved them.

 

I think that attractive women have it worst, because a lot of men see them as sex objects.  They don’t usually have many friends because women are jealous of the attention that they get from men.  To the attractive woman men only want to sleep with them and women hate them.  This puts them way up on the lonely list, making them prime targets for the player.  The truth is there is no exact profile of a victim of the game.  We all need to be careful. 

 

So when you’re sitting there hating on some good-looking girl because she’s dating and you’re not, remember she may be a victim of the game.

 

My grandmother use to say,” it’s harder for an ugly girl to be fooled because when she looks in the mirror she knows what she sees; the pretty girl believes what a man says because she is pretty.”

Tags: victims

THE CREEPER

Another kind of player is one who looks for what he would call unattractive woman, I know of one such instance, a woman in her early thirties still living at home with her parents, never had a boyfriend, met a man a work who suddenly began to pay her attention of course she was flattered, and after dating for a short time he suggested that they move in together, she jumped at the chance although against the advice of her friends, she felt that this was her chance for happiness.

So she paid the deposit on their flat(apartment) and bought most of the household things they needed, he was short of money and of course would pay her back.......... she still waiting as far as I know.

It apeared she paid all the bills washed, cleaned ,ironed, shopped, cooked while he of course did nothing, he rarely took her out preferring to go out with his "friends", she had never had a boyfriend before so she had no bench mark, he even took to not comming home at weekends knowing that she would always be there and always forgive him.

The upshot he had another girlfriend and actually had the nervwe to throw her out of her own home to make room for the new girl.

So beware players pick their victims carefully, and if you have no experience with men, they will just bleed you dry, and toss you aside when you no longer serve their purpose.

There was a add entry button so I used it, hope you don't mind.

Yasmin

Tags: Money Players

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The game does not discriminate

All women are possible victims of the game.  In some cases women who are educated and successful may be more likely to be targeted by the player.  Women who are not in need of financial support sometimes intimidate men.  Therefore, a lot of these women are without partners.  Lonely women are the player’s favorite victims. 

 

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard women say that they are tired of being alone.  This thing called loneliness has caused company heads to throw caution to the wind and get involved in relationships they wouldn’t have otherwise.  A lot of successful women are failures in their private lives.  They have everything except a family and will often discard logic to obtain one.  African American women who hold executive level jobs discover that there are very few African American men at that level.  They spend their lives overachieving themselves a successful career, only to find that they have no one to share it with.   

 

At first these women are positive about their situation, they get involved in clubs and organizations where they can socialize with their peers.  She will most likely set her sights on someone who will complement her success.   The problem with this is so has everyone else.  When natural charms fail the successful woman she resorts to buying what she wants.  She buys expensive gifts and vacations to persuade her man to be with her.  This technique usually fails because the successful black man is a rare commodity and because of this, he may be the most notorious player

 

After failing to find a man amongst her peers the successful woman will look elsewhere.  They will find interest in the deliveryman, that nice brother that works at the fast food place; sometimes this works.  Because of her underlying desire to be with someone financially equal or appears to be financially equal shes open to the player.  Men say they can tell when a woman is looking for a man and this somehow makes her less attractive.  However, the player is interested in this type of woman because she is easy to victimize. He spends a few dollars to wine and dine her; he may even buy a gift or two.  The most important thing he gives is his companionship and affection.  This is priceless to the lonely woman and she will do nearly anything to maintain this relationship.

 

Successful women do not hold a monopoly on loneliness. Women from all walks of life suffer from loneliness and because of it are possible victims of the game. 

Tags: victims

Female Players

Are there women players?  Yes, we women usually call them pros, sluts, hoes, groupies, tack heads, hoochies and chicken heads.  What ever you call them these women play the game and they play it well.  

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Female players have taken the male obsession with the female body and turned it into profit.  They are able to seduce celebrities, millionaires, doctors, lawyers and husbands.  Unlike most women they are able to separate emotions from the physical act of sex.  Telling a man exactly what he wants to hear and giving him exactly what he wants, as long as the money keeps flowing. 

 

I do not agree with this lifestyle, however, I must say I do secretly admire these women for being able to use the very thing that men use to take advantage of us against them.  Groupies are the most amazing because celebrities know why these women are hanging around and still there are those that get caught out there.  It might be that men think that they are so superior to women that they can’t be played.  I believe that they feel no matter what the situation they are the player.  I think for the female player this is the game.

 

What’s bad about this is that most men don’t use condoms. If your man is out there you may be exposed to diseases.  They all say they won’t but the bottom line is when the opportunity presents it’s self, he might.   We would all like to believe that our husbands would never, but if they would never these women would be out of business.<SPANSTYLE="MSO-SPACERUN: yes?> 

 

Love does not conquer all. I asked a man once why men cheat.  “He said that men and women are different; a man does not equate sex with love.  He said a man could have sex with one woman and be in love with another.  He says women can’t do this; they’re different from men.  Sex for a woman is more invasive a man physically enters her body making it a more personal act.  Women cannot separate their emotions from the act of sex.”  The female player apparently can. 

 

And the game goes on.

Tags: Money

Turning the tables

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Sometimes it takes a while to realize that you are dating a player.  When you do realize it the smart thing to do is end the relationship.  Although there is something that you can do that’s a lot more fun.  Catch the player in his own game.  Although it is highly immature it is extremely satisfying. 

 

I watched a episode of divorce court once this woman was suing her husband for divorce because he cheated on her.  She said she stopped by his store one afternoon and as she walked up he was rushing a woman out of the store.  She explained that the woman stopped and screamed don’t push me I want to see what she looks like.  The other woman screamed out, I am blanking your husband that’s right, me.    The woman, his wife, said nothing because she was too much of a woman to sink to her level.  She said she left the store with a long time customer and spent a week with him.  When she returned she found the woman at her home with her child.  Her husband asked the woman to leave, he told his wife that he loved her and he was sorry about everything.  He said he had to have someone stay with their son while he worked and that was the only reason the woman was there.  So his wife agreed to stay.  She stayed for about two months and left again.  Then she came back 3 months later and once again he asked the other woman to leave.  She stayed for about 4 months and left again.  This timeshe came back pregnant with another mans child.  The husband said he didn’t care he wanted her anyway.  She stayed until she had the baby then she took both children and left again.  Then she got engaged and filed for divorce. 

 

This sounds crazy I am sure but if you think about it the other woman told her she was seeing her husband so that she would leave him.  She no longer wanted to be with him but leaving him would have given the other woman exactly what she wanted.  So instead she made him throw this woman out at least 3 times and at the same time she played him breaking his heart over and over again.  It was not the most mature way of dealing with this but revenge can be sweet. 

 

Great ways to turn the tables on a player

 

1.                  Stand him up (this is one of the best ego busters ever)

2.                  Invite him over and have another man answer the door. *Dangerous*

3.                  Call him at 2:00 in the morning for a booty call and don’t answer the door.(say you fell asleep)

4.                  Tell him you’re breaking up with him because the other guys better in bed

5.                  Tell him you’re seeing someone else and let him try to win you back.

6.                  Fall asleep during love making

7.                  Show up at a place he frequently goes with another man.  *Dangerous*

8.                  Put him on hold for 10 to 15 minutes and take another call (you can call yourself from your cell phone)

9.                  Park your car around the corner and don’t answer your phone. (He’ll loss it trying to figure out where you are)

10.              Leave an empty wine bottle with twoglasses sitting around in case he stops by unexpectedly.

 

 

 

Remember you cannot pull this off if you are afraid of losing this man.  Most guys will go away when they realize that they’re being played.  Some will call a truce and become your friend.  Others will get caught in the game and if you can loss your good-hearted nature, its up to you where you want to take it, new house, new car, marriage or all of the above.

 

To me it’s a real compliment when they call a truce because at that time he gives you something he’s never done before, respect.

 

 

*Warning, the game can be dangerous be careful.

Tags: Playing the game

Is he worth it?

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As little girls we saw our mothers put themselves last to make sure their families were taken care of.  I once saw my mother save enough from the grocery money to buy my father and brother a coat.  My mother needed a coat herself but to her it was more important that she get one for them.  I learned from this to put my needs second to the needs of others. 

 

Many of use have similar stories and there’s nothing wrong with putting your family first or your man first, but is he worth it.  This is the question you should ask yourself before you go above and beyond the call of duty. 

 

Before you dedicate your life to him, find out what type of family he came from.  Learn his character.  Find out if he has financial issues or if he can hold a job.  Living with someone after knowing him for less than a year is not a wise decision.   Sure there are exceptions to every rule but realistically you need to get to know a person first. 

 

These are some of the things some of my friends found out about their husbands after they were married.

 

1.                  He owed the IRS $20,000

2.                  He has a 5 year old daughter

3.                  He spent 10 years in prison

4.                  He beat his ex-wife

5.                  He steals and she can’t leave her pocket book unattended

6.                  He’s a former drug addict

7.                  He used to be homeless, sleeping on the subway in New York City

 

 

Before you give yourself to a man let him prove himself worthy of you.  Not by saying a lot of pretty words but let his actions speak.  If a man asks you to marry him he should be able to support a family.  He should have a plan for your future together.  If he doesn’t he is not ready to be a husband.  Ladies be more selective, be a “Choosey Lover” (The Isley Brothers) and minimize your chances of being played. 

Signs to look for

 

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You should know that there are simple ways to tell if you’re being played.  Number one as Chris Rock said, if you haven’t met any of his friends or family you are not his girlfriend.   I laughed to, but this is a really big one. 

 

2.                  He says he only uses a cell phone/he has no home phone

3.                  He’s never invited you to his house.

4.                  You run into some of his friends and he doesn’t introduce you.

5.                  You go out and his children or his mother calls every 15 minutes.

6.                  You only go out for breakfast and lunch. (or Starbucks)

7.                  You only get his voice mail after 8pm.

8.                  You’ve been dating more than 6 months and he still doesn’t want to introduce you to his children.  (No he’s not a really concern parent)

9.                  He picks you up in a Mercedes sometimes and other times in a taxi (No his car is not in the repair shop; It’s not his car)

10.              When he says, if I had the money I would take you to Jamaica.  (No, you shouldn’t help him out and charge the trip on your credit card.  He won’t pay you back.)

 

 

I have a male friend that calls me all the time with these stories.  He tells these women these ridiculous lies and they fall for it all the time.  I think its because when he tells them he’s usually sitting in his Mercedes.  He actually tells them if their good he’ll take them to Martha’s Vineyard for the weekend.  You would think that women who work and handle their own would not go for this.  He tried it with a friend of mine once and she told him, I can afford to take myself to Martha’s Vineyard but thanks anyway. 

 

The best story was Tess, this girl really though she had found Mr. Right.  He was the first guy she dated after her divorce.  She bragged to her ex-husband that she was seeing someone.  The whole time this guy is telling me how stupid she is.  He told her that he didn’t allow women at his home because of his daughter.  A friend of hers was looking for a house and she told her that her boyfriend was a realtor.  So she gave him her friends telephone number and he got in touch with her.  The thing is, his office is in his home.  Her friend complimented her, telling her that her boyfriend had a beautiful home.  After her friend realized that she had never seen it.  She started calling him herself.  After all she wasn’t really his girlfriend

 

Once a girl tried so hard to get into his house he let her follow him there after a brief date at Starbucks.  He told her she couldn’t come in because his daughter was home.  The next day she called him and asked what he was doing that afternoon.  He explained he was shopping for a new refrigerator.  (Now that she’s seen the house) She said she was already out and if he wanted she would order one for him.  He told her that the one he wanted was expensive; he wanted a subzero.  She told him she could get it at a discount price.  When he asked her where she told him not to worry about it, she has his address; she’ll have it delivered.   This med school student bought a man a subzero refrigerator and had it delivered to a house she was not allowed to enter.  Can you believe it?  He never paid her for it and of course he suddenly lost interest in her. 

 

What’s really funny is people always ask me why he and I don’t date.

 

 

Tags: Rex

Sometimes you have to laugh at yourself

Today I was talking with a co-worker about another co-worker who is being played.  She was telling me that she collapsed in her arms crying yesterday.  She did her best to console her and she said she was going to break it off with him. On Monday after she gets back from taking him to Atlantic City this weekend for his birthday. 

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When this 25 year old met this guy he told her he was seeing other people. If she was O.K. with that they could hang out.  He spent days at the time with her.  Always letting her know before he left that he was going to be with another girl.  Because he’s black, and I’m probably the coolest black person she knows, she asked me what she should do.  I told her to tell him how she feels.  She didn’t want to date someone who was seeing other people.  Only two things could happen, he could tell her he feels the same way or stop seeing her.  I didn’t have the heart to tell her that he might lie.  Well guest what happened.  He lied.  He told her that he wanted her to be his girlfriend.   She came to work with a big smile on her facing saying he’s my boyfriend now.  I knew it was a lie but who could tell her; she was so happy. 

 

Well finally she caught him, and broke it off.  They were broken up for maybe a week before he came pleading for her forgiveness. Well guest what happened.  She took him back; and it was business as usually.  The problem is now she knows but she’s out there now.  She can’t find her way back. 

 

The problem is this girl suffers from low self-esteem; I don’t know if she’ll ever break free. 

 

I can’t be too hard on her, as my co-worker reminded me; we’ve all been there at least once.  Then we started talking about our own experiences.  She said she ran into hers at a party and he asked her for a ride home. Of course she should have said no. Guess what she said.  Sure I’ll give you a ride; he lived around the corner.  She said, of course I went in.  There was no furniture; it was clear he was moving, he didn’t acknowledge that there was no furniture, but she still had sex with him on the floor.  We laughed and I told her I could top that I had sex with mine after new furniture was delivered that was going in his new house that he was moving into with his fiancée. 

 

I hope that someday everyone who has gone through this can look back and laugh at it. 

 

Hang in there.

 

 

Tags: Co-worker