It has come to my attention that some people think that this is an “I hate men site”. This is not an “I hate men site” it is about the way in which some men treat women. If you read my post you will see that I did state that there are female players as well as male players. As far as it being negative I can’t write positively about such a negative topic. It is not a good thing to take advantage of women and that is what this is about. I am sorry that some of us believe that it’s O.K. to treat other human beings as sub-human but I don’t think it’s right.
I know that there are good men out there but this blog is not about good men it is about men who go around populating the world with children that they have no intention of taking care of. This is about men who have made a career out of using women. If you are a good man and you don’t do this you should not be insulted.
I think that men are so self-absorbed that they actually don’t realized how serious this situation really is. The language that is used in our music is a reflection of the men in our community it suggests that it is not necessary to respect women. Not even female senators are above verbal assault.
The music refers to pimps, Mac Daddies and hoes as though it is a good thing. Our daughters are not offended by the explicit manner that young men address them. I am trying to open eyes to the reality of this situation.
The reality is that this situation has existed for much longer than the hip hop era. This situation started many years ago and our children are only doing what they learned from us. We cheated, shacked and wrote songs about stroking and now we are reaping what we sowed.
I remember back in the early 80’s I saw a young man walk over to a young girl and say “girl I will rock your world” he went on to describe just how he would do that; I was sickened. The young girl was flattered. That was when I realized we were in trouble.
God blessed me with a son and a daughter I teach them to respect one another and all the same rules apply to both. There are no special privileges for my son. I do this because I have heard men and women tell there son’s to go out and do what ever they want because they don’t get pregnant. If we stopped teaching our sons this we would not have to worry so much about our daughters.
The ignorance runs so deep, that the abuser will most certainly attack a blog such as this, which uncovers it. Because it is what we have known and lived for so long some of us actually don’t see the problem.
Some women will find this a non-issue. I once talked for hours one night with a woman from the Middle East. She told me that at the age of 16 she was told that she was going to marry a man that was 15 years her senior. She was not told anything about what marriage meant. She was taken shopping she got beautiful clothes and she was excited about the marriage. The day of the wedding was wonderful there was food family and friends. The wedding night was not so nice. She did not know what was coming next. She started to cry, as she told me that her husband beat her into submission. She was beaten for years after because she never accepted her role as his wife. She wanted to go home to her parents. He wouldn’t even let her visit. I met her when he brought her to the United States and left her with her children and went back home. This woman told me one day that she was going to take her daughter back to the Middle East because she was getting older and she needed to be married. It was what she was taught; she believed this was the right thing to do. The same for some women here in our own community they accept the abuse because it is all they know.
It would be nice if everyone stuck their heads in the sand and pretended that the world was perfect. The reality is the world is not perfect and I thank God for the ability to see it and speak on it.
1 comment:
I didn't view your post as an "I hate men site" My feeling is that we as women many times do not keep to our convictions, or pay attention to red flags when they present. As you know there are men out there like our president elect; Barack Obama! Men who value the women in their lives and their families. Its unfortunate that it would seem there are more of the opposite in our society today however. This is all I would say; (Just my opinion) I believe we as women need to value ourselves more. We need to see ourselves as the precious jewels we are---as our Heavenly Creator does! I know that the many women have been in unhealthy relationships at some point in time during our teen/adult life. None of us our immune to being in a vulnerable place/spot in our lifes journey where we may allow someone to abuse or disrespect us in someway shape or form. However we need to learn and grow from that and not let it hinder us. Hinder us in believing in Love---believeing that THERE ARE men out here in this world that are men of integrity. Men who value women and know their true worth. Many of us (women) have been so damaged by allowing ourseleves to stay in unhealthy situations too long. We need not to compromise our standards/values. If something is rubbing you the wrong way--you need to speak on it. If you see a red flag don't ignore it. Many times we will see a red flag and poopoo it away or rationalize it. As far as being tactful, I believe we should always endeavor to be tactful when dealing with whomever in out daily lives. Whenever possible anyway! The Bible says be angry and sin not. I interpret that to mean you can be angry---but don't allow your anger to control you---or get out of control. In certain instances we can only imagine how we might react when confronted with a bad situation. At the end of the day I believe if we are in tune with our spiritual self and our Heavenly father/creator, we will have enough peace, joy,love and happiness to carry us and keep us. When we realize we don't need a man to merit our value. We can be Healthy and whole with or without one. If you SURROUND yourself with people family, friends, sista girlfriends, as well as feed your spirit ...you can be satisfied. I believe God knows the desires of our heart. He will bring you into the life of the man thats right for you when we're busying ourselves with trying to grow/glow for him. We need to just keep on living and being the best friend, mom, aunt, worker,child of GOD (whatever the title) we can be until that time. In any event don't fall for the okie doke....and don't be a victim and stay true to yourself.
Peace Love and Grace my Sistas
P.S. Plz excuse any grammatical errors.
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