Monday, March 24, 2008

The self-proclaimed relationship expert

 

Television and radio are filled with the advice of the self-proclaimed relationship expert.  A lot of these people have no real bases for this expertise, however we call in and share our problems and follow their advice. 

 

I listen some time to a radio show that the host advised men to be honest about seeing other people.  He said that most women would date men who are seeing someone else.  So now men are actually telling women that they are seeing other people.  When women ask them to define their relationship they say they are friends with benefits.  This comes down to a man being able to sleep with who ever he wants and not commit to anyone and have no responsibility in the relationship.  How do you tell a friend with benefits you are pregnant? Where does that leave you?  Where does that leave your unborn child?

 

I was presented with this situation once and I explained to the gentleman that I do not sleep with my friends.  I do not believe in friends with benefits.  He said that I thought I was too good.  The truth is I do have a high opinion of myself and I do not plan to lower that opinion based on a new trend in relationships.  In today’s society I find it scary when people are volunteering to sleep with a man who is sleeping with other people.  With sexually transmitted diseases that now kill you I would think people would not be signing for this type of relationship.  But they do. 

 

Women don’t want to appear clingy so they go along hoping that he will eventually want a one on one relationship.  The truth is why should he; you are sleeping with him any way.  The only person that would ever advise a woman to do this is a player.  This is nothing but the game in a new package. 

 

Some times the relationship experts sounds like he’s right, for example, the same host says that we should wait at least 6 months before we introduce our children to a man we are dating.  That sounds logical.  However, a lot of women do not have the support of family members to assist with babysitting.  Childcare is expensive and many women cannot afford childcare after hours.  This means no dating.  Men are all for this, if you have children you must have heard this line.  “You better not have that man around my kids” Isn’t it amazing how concern they are about the children that they don’t pay child support for.  I wonder how long they’ve known that woman sitting in the car with them when they come to pick up their kids every two or three months.  Don’t forget he doesn’t have to ask to pick up his kids because he has joint custody.  Even if he only remembers that he has kids 4 to 6 times a year.   Wouldn’t it be great if we could not be parents this week because we met some hot babe that we need to get with? 

 

They don’t pick up their kids on the weekend because they don’t want us to have time to go out on a date.  They call for the children the day before or the same day so that you have no time to make plans.  If you tell them they can’t come they accuse you of not letting them see there kids.  If you don’t let the guy meet the child you’ll never go out on a date.  Therefore, most of your dates are spent at the zoo, g rated movies and fast food restaurants.  Some guys are really O.K. with this if he’s not he’s probably not right for you any way.   

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

The online player

Internet dating has gone wild young women are exploiting themselves.   They post nude pictures of themselves for the world to see.  Sex today has become wide open and explicit and young people are driving this engine.  They sign up for their own space on the Internet and fill it with personal information.  They meet, date and chronicle their entire relationship online for everyone to see.  There is no privacy. 

 

What I find most interesting is that these women think they can meet someone under these conditions and have a normal monogamous relationship with them.  I could be wrong and of course there is always exceptions to every rule; I don’t think that a man who’s looking for a wife starts by selecting a woman’s nude photo on the Internet.  If you were interested in a serious relationship it would probably be wise to take it off-line.

 

Most parents are concerned about this but they are most concerned that some older person will take advantage of their child.  What these parents don’t realize and neither do the young people; predators come in all ages. It doesn’t have to be a dirty old man it can be a dirty young man.  The online player knows that these young women are prime candidates for the game.  These men are usually playing 3 or more women at a time.  Their prize is sex, gifts and money. 

 

In the normal fashion of young girls, they compete for the attention of these men.  Post nasty thing about the other women and make complete fools of themselves for the world to see.  The problem is that they are really emotionally affected by these relationships.  It interferes with there day to day lives and future relationships.  Once the player has abused these women they have difficulty with trust.  Some of these relationships produce children who are being raised by young women who are not ready for parenting.  Child support is practically none existent therefore a lot of these children become the responsibility of the taxpayers.

 

The children suffer and the world’s standards are continually lowered by each generation.